Happy December 1st! I would like to be the first to congratulate you on making it to the last month of 2020. Hang in there folks we are almost out of this hell hole. On a brighter note, I hope everyone had a lovely and safe thanksgiving. Let's get down to business and discuss something I personally struggle with...Rest B*tch Face.
In a world where first impressions are everything, those of us with RBF generally start off on the wrong foot. Now you might be thinking, is this girl really going to spend a entire post talking about Resting B*tch Face, and the answer is absolutely.
I am an introvert to say the least. I struggle to instantly make friends due to crippling social anxiety and more often than not people mistake my shyness for rudeness. I’m not going to lie to you, I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. My personality is one of those most people have to warm up to. I am my own unique blend of brutal honesty, witty sarcasm, and no nonsense work ethic. Nicely paired with a heart of gold, overflowing with empathy and compassion.
But, for whatever reason, my face is one of those faces that naturally looks a little pissed off all of the time. I can still hear my grandma saying “you should smile more, you look so angry”. Love her but this is the face I was born with... so thanks grandma.
I wasn't blessed with one of those faces that looks friendly and approachable. You know, like the face of every Disney princess that just screams, “hi, come and talk to me.” I am not the soft voiced stranger that looks like they would have a house filled with freshly baked cookies. I'm a little rough around the edges. I curse a tad too much and if you ask my opinion I'm not going to beat around the bush so I have to work extra hard to not look like a bitter B.
If you are part of the RBF club you know what I'm talking about. We have to go over the top to smile at people and look interested or engaged. Honestly it can be exhausting because it's not natural. But what is more irritating is when people tell you to smile more or look happier because what they are really saying is they don’t like your face.
I know most communication is nonverbal but, this is my face. The face I was born with and the face I am stuck with! I don’t go around telling people to be taller or making assumptions because someone is short. Imagine just walking down the street and seeing a short lady and thinking, well obviously she didn't eat her vegetables. No one would do that. Yet I can’t tell you how many times people have told me after they have gotten to know me that they thought I was mean, angry, or my favorite, a b*tch. Truthfully, how do you even respond to that?
And now that we always have to wear a mask, I'm screwed!
So I ask, the next time you find yourself making surface level judgements, stop and consider if it's a fair judgement. Maybe someone is quiet because they are shy, not because they are rude. Maybe someone is actually a really nice person but so often gets overlooked so they keep to themselves. Having an unapproachable face can work to my advantage and yes, I have perfected the deadpan stare but most of the time I find myself just wanting to be included.
If you're rocking the RBF tell me about your experience in the comments!
Ta Ta for now.
Disclaimer: Please note, all information on The Cheeky Life is not intended as medical advice or as a substitute for professional care. The intention of this blog is to connect with the community and share my personal experiences with mental health, eating disorders, and life in general. All opinions are my own.